as i’d mention previously, hidayat hasn’t fully healed from his eczema, basically because the boy won’t fully heal from it until his immunity strengthens.
i’ve been meaning to continue with my studies or start a full-time job, but i don’t seem to see any improvement in his eczema everytime i leave him to run my errands. don’t think i should start anything that’d take 12 hours of my time away from him while he desperately needs me in this phase of his life.
hidayat’s getting stronger though. he wakes himself up in the middle of the night, trying to roll around. i can’t let him out of his swaddle because he takes every opportunity he can to scratch his face whenever his limbs are free. i still get people questioning my decision to swaddle him, but in my place, i’d rather a slow physical development than continuously trying to calm him down when he wakes up, screaming & all covered in blood in the middle of the night.
it’s been quite a challenge, trying to manage his eczema even when it seems to be gradually recovering. i’ve tried my best, and i’m still trying my best to decide what to and not to do when it comes to healing him inside out; but i guess He’s telling me that it’s just not time for him to heal just yet.
i also think it’s pretty normal that a mother starts comparing her baby’s development with other babies & the general milestones, but in hidayat’s case, i’m glad that i’d successfully psychologically convinced myself that he’ll develop in time, however long it may take. besides, it’s just eczema, kan?
i know other mothers who struggle with worst conditions, and as i’ve mentioned before, you mothers out there definitely deserve all the love you could get to keep you going, so here’s some tough love for you mommies out there: ❤
no doubt, i occasionally shed a tear or two whenever hidayat seems restless and fussy from all the swaddling when in fact, all he wants at the moment is to be free, rolling around, trying to sit up and whatnot. poor boy wishes he could practise & be like other kids but then i’m lucky enough to have family members who continuously remind me that it’s okay to swaddle him up so long as he doesn’t hurt himself even more from all the scratching. not that i swaddle him 24/7 though, i only swaddle him for naps & for his night’s sleep..
to those of you praying for us, thank you so much, and i hope you keep praying for us! till next time-
w a t e r m e l o n o 